Somehow from that memory, the idea took root that if you wanted to go to Hawaii, your dad or husband had to be a rich lawyer or the equivilant. For all the rest of us, we would have to be satisfied with the mere dream of dipping our toes in crytal clear, warm water and hiking among the lush vegetaion.
Fast forward 15 years, I'm married with a toddler and my husband is in the National Guard. An opportunity came up to do training in Hawaii! Who would say no? Some spouses also went, but being poor college students, we couldn't afford the airfare for me. And really, who am I to expect to go to Hawaii?
Three more years go by. Now I have a preschooler and a newborn. Guess what? Another training in Hawaii. But still strapped and with a 2 month old baby, it's not happening. Over the years, he also did trips to Italy, England, Alaska, Morocco and even stopped in my ancestral stomping grounds, Iceland. But those didn't make my heart ache the way Hawaii does.
Eight more years. Another trip with the Guard. Mark put his foot down and told me I was going. He was sick and tired of tagging along with other couples in paradise. Really? Really?? I threw out all the objections. How are we going to pay for this. We have bills, a mortgage and 5 kids. Who is going to take care of all those kids for a week? What? Here I have the chance to fulfill a BIG dream and I'm objecting?
Walking on Waikiki that first night and drinking a Lava Flow looking out over the Pacific as the sun melted in to the ocean was phenomenal!
Then the next morning, after dropping Mark off at work, I stopped at a beach on base, climbed on a large lava boulder and watched the sunrise. It really is impossible to describe the feelings and emotions of the moment.
That was it. That was my moment. I knew as the sky lit up that dreams really can come true. For decades, I lied to myself. I held that little desire deep in my heart but never let it breathe in the light of day. Never set a goal, saved any money, or made a decision. If it hadn't been for my hubby, I never would have gone that first time. Or the second, or the third or be planning another in a year and a half.
This wasn't the only thing I lied about either. Oh no! I can't lose weight. I've had 5 kids, it's just the sacrifice we make. It's normal to be tired all the time. TV is a great way to spend an evening. Who would hire me? I've been at home for years. No marketable skills. Why would anyone care about running. Exercise hurts, it's not fun. This is the best it will ever be. It's all downhill now.
We all tell ourselves lies. I'm not qualified for that job. It's been to long...I can't go back to college. Why would anyone even try to run a marathon. All this while deep in our hearts, we have a tiny little sliver of a dream. One we shield from everyone, too afraid it will wither and die from a doubtful glance. Why?
Why shouldn't we pursue it. Why can't we have second careers that are completely different, why not see distant lands, why not make a difference in one life.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Marianne Williamson
I love that quote. "...Who are you not be? ...Playing small does not serve the world." What powerful words. We hide in fear rather than live in light.
So what is it you dream about? If you could design your life from scratch, what would it be? Where would you live, what would be your life work, your hobbies, how would you serve your neighbors, how would you spend time with your family?
Would you come to Kona with me and participate in the Ironman World Championships, 2015? (yep there it is, another dream!) Would you take a cruise through the rivers of Germany? Come on dig deep, let your dream stretch and breathe in the fresh air! Tell me! You know you want to!
What would your life be like without limits? It's your life; Opt in!
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